Productivity Arata! What is behaving as a victim? Here are some examples:
– Putting the blame on others and not being responsible for your own choices
– Thinking that others are happier and luckier and repeating phrases like “poor me!”
– Trying to get attention, affection or pity from others by telling exaggerated stories of how you are suffering from injustice
– Complaining instead of acting to change the situation
– Focusing on past wrongs and blaming unfair events as causes of unwanted current circumstances
– Focusing on the problem instead of the solution
– Liking to criticize others but having great difficulty receiving constructive criticism
Briefly, victim behaviour is the inability to take responsibility for our own choices. The person who behaves like a victim will try to transfer his or her responsibility to someone else.
Think for example of times when we use phrases like “I HAD to do that” or “She made me do it.”
These phrases indicate that we are not in control of our own lives.
When we are explaining our behaviour in this way, these phrases say that we are not fully capable of making choices about our lives.
These phrases feed the belief that others are in charge of our lives, and so we have no responsibility for what we do. This mentality is refusing to reap what we sow.
Our greatest responsibility is to find clarity in our thinking, in our preferences. We need to know what we really want and know how to communicate it all.
When you resent being placed in an unpleasant situation, it is your responsibility to learn to communicate properly, rather than feeling like a victim of events.
People cannot read your mind. You are responsible for communicating in a way that others are sure to understand you.
In addition to the clear communication, it is important to have a vision for your future. You need to have a clear vision of your goals, your dreams, the future that you want to build for yourself. When you have a vision in front of you, you’ll know what to do, what to prioritize, which path you want to follow and which paths you want to avoid.
Most people find it difficult to say NO because they worry about how to explain their NO.
In our course How to Say NO, you will learn how to say NO without justification or explanation. This is ASSERTIVENESS. This is having the ability to establish healthy boundaries. There are times when you will say NO simply because. And you do not need to explain yourself. But assertiveness is a process that we can learn in detail only during the course because there will be many exercises that we need to do together.
Here on YouTube, our proposal is to give you free and simple tips. So as a free, quick tip for you here, it will help a lot if you have some explanation, some reason to say no.
When you have a clear vision of where you want to go and why you want to get there, you will have better reasons to decline orders that are not aligned with this view.
So today’s tip is:
Set a clear view. It can be short-term or long-term.
Identify your desire. When you know what you really want in your life, you will have more focus on your activities and will not be quickly or easily distracted. With a clear view you can stay true to your priorities. You will be able to say NO—even to opportunities that look good—because you know that there are even greater benefits to staying on course.
Write in your notebook: What is your priority? What do you want to do even more? Where do you prefer to spend more time? And what you will reduce? Where you will start to say NO?
To stop acting as a victim, we need to take responsibility for our choices and the consequences of our choices. There will always be people who ask for things that are not in line with what we really want. We need to learn how to say no.
You can get full access to the course How to Say No here in this link. This is a complete course that will teach you everything you need to value your own time and resources and to prioritize yourself.