Hello! Seiiti Arata. Problems. Do you face them or do you run away from them? This is not a video for everyone. How do you deal with problems on your daily life? I have prepared this material specifically for those who have been tempted to give up their objectives.
This video might not be good for you, but it might be helpful for someone in your family, or one of your friends. So, please, share this video with those people you think could find this information useful.
1. Avoid burnout
Here at Arata Academy we have a series of videos and trainings on productivity and high performance. Some people confuse the concept of personal development, high performance and productivity. Generally, those who mix up these terms, or have trouble understanding them, believe that they must work to the point of feeling exhausted. This mentality gets worse if we consider the fact that we are always connected to the internet. So, if we get distracted, we will end up working all the time, non-stop.
But that doesn’t mean we should work all the time. We need to make better decisions. We want to know the ideal time to take a break and take a few steps back.
Some people are proud to be always busy. They are anxious people. I’m sure you know someone, who, proudly says: “You gotta work hard! Yesterday I didn’t go home until dawn! Can’t stop!”
We want to achieve a delicate balance. At times, it will pay off to have above-average performance. Especially when we are doing something with a greater purpose. In these situations, dedication gives us a feeling of joy and satisfaction.
What we want to avoid is burnout and exhaustion.
You need to be careful and consider how much you think about a “happy” future. If you spent a lot of time doing that, it means you are not enjoying the present. Think about your present. Do you work feeling unsatisfied, anxious and unhappy? Thinking this way means you are not happy with the present, and because of this, your level of anxiety and stress increases.
Anxiety shows up when we are unhappy with our situation; where we don’t want to be where we are.
2. Avoid leakage
You will need to slow down to avoid burnout. Or even stop doing certain activities. This is the path of simplicity and elimination. When you simplify your life, you make better choices. You will stop committing to activities that are not aligned with your purpose or with your priorities.
But be careful not to run away from challenges. The process of rationalization and self-deception can lead you to this path. You don’t want to give up on your goals by using the excuse of simplifying your life. Simple life does not mean avoiding your problems. Challenges and difficulties are part of life. But if the real reason why you want to get away from your challenges is fear, then you’re lacking consistency.
Think about your current commitments. What are the things you need to do and, among them, what are the things you want to give up on? Maybe it’s preparing for that public contest. Perhaps it’s starting your own company. Or it could be looking for a new job. Maybe it’s talking to that charming person you like. Maybe it’s learning a new skill. Whatever the commitment is, if you start a feeling a desire to give up, stop. Take a step back and be honest with yourself. Have a frank conversation with yourself.
What is the real explanation behind this desire to give up? Is it because you have no more interest in that goal? Or do you want to give up because you’re scared? Is it because you are lazy? Or is it a way to avoid the discomfort of pursuing that goal? Only you have the true answer to these questions. Also, beware of ego traps. This is, coming up with excuses to lose your focus and motivation to achieve things.
Of course, you can always your change goals. Maybe you don’t want to take that exam anymore. You know that is not the career you want to pursuit; so, it doesn’t make any sense to keep studying for that exam. The outcome of the contest is no longer important. This is a good valid reason for quitting.
Another explanation is that you find the content to be very difficult. You don’t have the skills needed to achieve the expected result, so you give up and create an excuse for not trying anymore. This is very similar to that famous fable of the Fox in the Vines. The fox had a craving for grapes. She went up to a vine and tried to get some. But the fox was small and could not reach them. The grapes were very high. After trying a few times, the fox gives up and thinks to himself “Well, I didn’t really want those grapes. Besides, they were most likely sour, so it wasn’t worth the effort.”.
Now I’ll give you a personal example: I don’t know how to ski. Once I went up a mountain with skiing facilities. I took some photos, had hot chocolate and ate the typical food from the Alps. When I was invited to take a ski lesson, I didn’t go. I wasn’t scared or lazy – I just had no interest. For me, it is not worth devoting myself to it; I was simply not interested.
On the other hand, I will give another example of something I would like to try, but – I must admit- I haven’t put enough effort on it: There’s this girl who is a friend of mine, who I really like. She’s an intelligent person, always in a good mood, always doing something interesting in her life. Great person. Over time, we drifted apart and now we don’t talk anymore. Not because there was a quarrel or a misunderstanding. She’s still a very good friend. But unfortunately, I have to admit that I just gave up dedicating myself to that friendship. Here is one example of existing interest but lack of action from my side.
3. Make good choices from your reflection
From these examples, I know I can go on without knowing how to ski. There’s no problem, it’s not something I need. And I have also realized that I can send a message to this friend and I would feel happy for doing that.
You see? Now it is your turn. Think how you could simplify your life. What things could eliminate from it? Things that you don’t need; problems that you can solve, this helps to reduce your anxiety. Also, consider those situations in which you can take a little step forward so you won’t give up on things that are important.
You don’t want to keep insisting on projects and people who don’t deserve your attention and energy anymore. On the other hand, running away from your problems does not bring a long-term satisfaction; on the contrary, it creates more problems.
Imagine you want to quit your job because your boss is a nasty person. So, you carefully select your next job. You want to make sure your next boss is a great person. This is no guarantee that your new boss will always be in a good mood. It is very likely that he will also have some bad days. Or, it can happen that he is transferred to another department or he quits his job. You can’t really know for sure whether your next supervisor or boss will be a nice or mean person.
At this point, it may be better to work on developing your resilience, that is, your ability to adapt to adverse conditions. That way, you would be able to deal with all the kinds of problems and challenges you might be faced with. So, you wouldn’t feel the urge to run away from them anymore.
In the Personal Development course, you will learn to develop your ability to solve problems and deal with any kind of difficulty. You can access our course and learn more at https://arata.se/personaldevelopment