Hello! Seiiti Arata. Today is a great day to give yourself a gift. And the gift you’re going to give yourself is to stop making excuses. This is a disease that affects us all: too many excuses. Making excuses all the time can be like a disease, but you can find a way to heal yourself. Why is it important to learn to stop making excuses?
As we saw in episode 49 of the series Hello! Seiiti Arata [thumb + http://arata.se/hello49], it is important to be proactive and to take responsibility for our results.
What do you call a person who does not take a proactive stance? That is a reactive person. And the reactive person is complaining all the time. This is a big difference from those who are proactive and take control of their own destiny.
1. Everyone has difficulties. You either deal with them, or you make some excuse.
People who have a successful mindset do not use excuses as crutches.
Do not be fooled by the illusion that you can reach a level where all problems disappear. Regardless of our stage of life, there will always be some difficulty.
Everyone goes through difficulties. What may change is the type of difficulty: some people are struggling with the minimum necessary to survive: food and shelter. However, once we reach a higher level of prosperity, there will be other types of difficulties. So the difficulties will never disappear, they only change in nature. For example, “higher level problems” are dealing with bureaucracies for taxes, dealing with employees and with competitors.
Therefore, we do not want to waste focus on the excuses and justifications for the lack of results. The person stuck in a spiral of failure has a long list of reasons for being there. People with mediocre results always have some explanation of why they did not get where they wanted to go.
By studying the biographies of successful people, you will realize that all of them could have made excuses. Richard Branson has dyslexia. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates did not finish their studies. JK Rowling was unemployed and a divorced mother living on the edge of misery before publishing the Harry Potter series. These people did not allow excuses to delay their lives.
2. The problem with excuses is when we believe in them.
Our brain learns through repetition. When I present excuses, listing the many things that block my success, I am repeating a neural route whereby a message is getting stronger and stronger. Neuroscience proves that repeated thoughts end up strengthening over time, and they begin to shape our character.
The more I repeat the excuse, the truer it becomes for me.
In addition, we have the human need for consistency and consistency. If I say that I do not have the capacity because of my excuse, I will not even try (or try to improve) in future situations, because I have to be consistent with the narrative that I created.
This is how I become the victim of my own excuse. It begins to become part of my identity.
3. The problem with fear is being paralyzed.
Fear can take over and paralyze you. And then you use excuses to justify the difficulty of dealing with fear.
The solution to this is very simple. I’m not saying it’s easy. Many of you will experience great difficulty implementing the solution. But the path that you must follow is simple to understand.
To overcome fear, you have to act. That’s it.
Imagine that you are afraid of a certain event because you do not know how people will react. You are afraid of being inadequate. The solution is simple: get ready and give your best. That is, go ahead.
If you are afraid of losing a client, what can you do? Research to understand what your customer expects and strive harder to please. Do what no other competitor does. Correct your mistakes.
If you are afraid of a test, instead of spending the night awake, worried, and imagining terrible scenarios of failure, get up and study. If you really study, you will be so tired that when you go to bed you will fall asleep immediately because you are exhausted.
If you are afraid of things beyond your control, seek support in what is beyond you: A network of people who support you. A religious, spiritual practice. Sports. Charity, volunteering and philanthropy. Help others. Learn to control your focus. We have an exclusively focused course that you can do today at http://arata.se/focuscourse.
Do you understand what’s common in all situations? To deal with fear, you have to act. Do not become paralyzed and increase your fear by imagining catastrophic scenarios. The more time you spend fantasizing about fear, the more it increases. The best time to act is NOW. If you leave for later, it will be worse.
4. No one is born confident. Confidence is something we cultivate.
Some difficulties in your life are within your sphere of control. In these cases, you are responsible for doing what needs to be done.
However, some difficulties are outside your sphere of control. Instead of using this as an excuse, use these difficulties as opportunities to strengthen your resolve. The tragedies of life are a blessing; they test us and bring us to understand what we are capable of. Seneca said, how unfortunate is the one who has never been unfortunate. Anyone who has never had a hard time has not faced worthy challenges. No one will know what he’s capable of. Not even himself.
That means we have a lot to gain when we look at adversity as an opportunity to realize our potential. And, by finding the potential, we further expand what we are able to overcome.
I do not know what your definition of success is. It can be some financial progress, it can be loving, it can be health, it can be a personal achievement. But whatever it is, to achieve success in any endeavour, the greatest gift you can give yourself is to vaccinate yourself against the chronic excuse mindset.
It may seem like a difficult process, and it is precisely for this that we have the Better New Year course, a fast course that covers the areas of finance, love, relationships, health and goal-setting in a light and effective way. Transform your future beginning with a personal transformation. See how we do it by visiting http://arata.se/betternewyear.