You are what others believe you are

Hello! Seiiti Arata. It is impossible not to become what others believe you are. This quote by the Colombian author Gabriel García Márquez reveals that you are influenced by the people around you. And because of that you also influence those around you.

On the previous episode we talked about how difficult it is to find the truth because of prejudice and labels. Let’s continue this topic.

1. The Golem Effect awakens the worst in you.

The Golem Effect happens when individuals lower their expectations and therefore lower their results.

We are often surrounded by people who put us down and hinder our self-esteem. It can be your boss at work, your teacher at school, or even a dear relative who means well but accidentally causes those feelings. It can be a close friend trying to pull a prank on you that ends up hurting you. Those people can put us down, especially if we admire them and we respect their opinions.

Whether you think you can get it or if you think you can't, anyway, you're absolutely right. (46) - Seiiti Arata, Arata Academy

2. Don’t treat people like garbage.

For you, an entrepreneur or manager who deals with teams, it’s important to keep in mind that the Golem Effect can greatly affect the quality of the team’s work. From the moment you decide that some employee is worthless, stupid or lazy, you also start to show that you don’t trust him.

And that, in turn, creates your self-fulfilling prophecy: your employee will keep getting worse until the unavoidable firing comes.

If you treat people like crap, don’t be surprise if they have a crappy attitude towards you.

FOCUS class Arata Academy

3. Is it really IMPOSSIBLE not to become what others believe you are?

And here I ask you to remember what we talked about on episode 44 of the series Hello! Seiiti Arata. There are different ways of looking at something. One way is to look and think that the employee in this scenario is a fragile figure, a poor victim who can’t decide anything. He is a victim of circumstances, of determinism and of the Golem Effect.

Another way is to remember that people always have the power of choice. In other words, as much as they suffer in an unfavourable situation in which they’re being judged in an unflattering or even negative way, only they can turn the tide. 

Taking into account the opinion of others, you are giving them a power over your present and future perception. (46) - Seiiti Arata, Arata

In order to not be a victim of fatalism and determinism, place the focus on the control of your life. Don’t let the opinions of others contaminate your vision of who you are. Do the best you can today; recognize your limitations, and use that as incentive to keep improving. Even when faced with failure, reformulate, reinterpret so that you face the hardships of life as a continuous process of growth and improvement.

4. Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.

This is a quote attributed to Henry Ford: Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right. 

Again I talk about focus because that’s what guides our life. If you place your focus on the terrible consequences of the Golem Effect, and you think you’re a product of other people’s opinions, well, that’s the kind of life you will live. If, on the other hand, you place your focus on your potential for virtue and self-determination, if you have faith and the will to build your own destiny, that’s what’s going to happen.

Don't treat others badly. (46) - Seiiti Arata, Arata Academy

Do you get it? The power of choice is yours. It depends on your focus.

5. Don’t hand out your power to anyone.

When you take other people’s opinions too much into consideration, you’re giving them the power to influence your own perception of who you are and what you can become. Does it make sense to carry a stigma?

And what if we can develop our ability to assimilate criticism in such a way that it stimulates our progress, including the criticism that we deem unfair and unmeasured? Where do I have greater control? In making my ear more resistant to criticism? Or in trying to shut up or trying to change the way others speak? To me, it seems more rational to change the way I hear.

And we’ll also pay attention when we make negative comments about others. Kindness is always a virtue to cultivate.

FOCUS class Arata Academy

During today’s talk, we’re not saying that any impression is always false or subjective. If someone criticises my work, saying that I work very slowly, it doesn’t mean that I was a productive person who will slow down due to the Golem Effect. It’s possible that I really wasn’t performing as expected to begin with.

So, let’s always balance objective assessments and facts together with those subjective perceptions and mainly use our focus to determine the best choice to be taken. 

We have to remember that we are free to become what we want. Don’t put too much weight on the judgment of others. And similarly, remember to be kind when communicating with others, because there is power in our words. You already know what I’m going to say because it’s very important. Control your FOCUS and control your destiny. Visit to start today.